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Post by degicank on Feb 28, 2006 13:42:07 GMT -5
Happy Birthday today to my beutiful daughter Ava, I hope she has a thousand more happy birthdays...
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Post by degicank on Mar 20, 2006 2:43:05 GMT -5
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Post by Ben on Mar 20, 2006 3:25:19 GMT -5
I found some time tonight to get my brain out of food service. This alone may be evidence of a merciful God.
Some themes from this past week:
Regarding relationships (between beloveds primarily but it is relevent for all relationships)
I did a lot of reflecting on relationships and I actually had some interesting finds this week. I was aiming to find more insight into what makes long term relationships work well:
(This is just an aspect that may be of good use, a tool per se in the ever growing utility box)
Foundations of well working relationships: I have come to identify a structure that helps minimize break downs in relationships. Relationships eb and flow through good and bad always but here is some insight into building good and lasting experiences. It all has to do with a simple structure.
A relationship is built on a foundation. Often times if the foundation is sound the relationship winds up being sound for the most part. At the least if there is a sound foundation you can return to it when the fit hits the shan. If you have a relationship that has been built upon a common thread of say drug use if one of the participants stops using drugs often times the relationship falters and has to be rebuilt. If it has been built on music take music out and "plop" back to the drawing board. The common thread often times winds up being the foundation. There is the case where a relationship starts developing on a common thread of say music but then deepens and the foundation is replaced with a mutual love, respect, etc. I am going to make a jump here and say positive relationships almost always have love as the foundation in some way, shape, or form. The last statement will be our postulate for the following:
"When the love in relationship breaks down"- I have found it true that in order to heal someone you first have to an extent heal yourself. Same in relationship, if you want to create a loving relationship with someone it might be a good idea to first learn how to establish love in yourself. The idea is that if the foundation of love isn't sound in yourself how can you build a lasting love between yourself and another? It may work for awhile and then break down. If your personal foundation of love isn't sound often times the other person winds up continually having to give more than they recieve. I'm not saying this doesn't work but I believe it is not ideal. The person who winds up giving and giving and giving might get tired of the dynamic, who knows.
So with that covered let's talk from the bottom up. Two people sound within themselves begin to create a relationship on this foundation. As we all know things come up but when they do they can return to their personal foundation and receive what they need. So the relationship doesn't fall into the flight patterns of one needing the other to be a certain way for the relationship to continue. Also as an added bonus if one has a strong personal foundation in love they have already had to work on themselves and they have had to learn the things that maintain love i.e. patience, mercy, forgiveness, etc. They can draw on that knowledge to help nurse the relationship through the ups and downs.
The two having their own foundation in love is like building a house on stone. If the two try to develop something between themselves without this it is much like building something on sand, something on shifty, unstable ground. Things are likely to fall down.
What happens if the two continue with personal foundation? As the relationship is nutured out of its infancy it can begin to weather greater storms. A "jewel" forms between them, strong, beautiful, and bright. Sure stuff still comes up but there is something to lean on. The structure that grows from the solid foundation is one of the great gifts in this life. If they care for the "house" they wind up building and keep it clean and be careful not to torch down the place it can become enough to protect their hearts, nuture their hearts, feed their hearts, and weather the stormy waters of the struggle between light and darkness that happens in this world. But it all comes from the two having sound tools to build the "house" to begin with.
So in short, keep your tools clean. Keep that solid personal foundation in love in order to maintain loving relationships. Do what you have to do to keep it. Tell your beloved when you know you have lost your personal foundation. Develop an understanding that this is important and give eachother time to be alone to work out personal issues threatening this foundation. Support your beloved if they have lost their footing but make sure you have yours. Throw up a red flag when you realize you have both lost your footing at the same time. It might take some time to get your head above water but you can do so by getting some space to work on yourself THEN go back and heal the relationship.
The two that are in shambles until they meet eachother and fall in love is sort of a top down phenomenon. But still the love they experience between themselves changes them both on an individual level. The above mentioned is mainly addressing how to build when the love between falters. The case mentioned here is when the love is established between the two but not individually which as I mentioned happens eventually "top down" in lasting loving relationships.
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Theme of the week pt. 2:
"Read" - A reflection on the meaning of intelligence
This reflection was spurred after watching a discourse on one of the Prophet Muhammad's (pbuh) first encounters with Gabriel.
They were in the cave where Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) used to go on retreat. Gabriel appeared for one of the first times. This used to scare the Prophet (pbuh) very much. Allah through Gabriel gave the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) the order to "read". The Prophet (pbuh) said, "but I can't read". Allah through Gabriel said again, "read".
The meaning was explained as not to literally read as in words on a page but to "read" what happens to you day to day. To keep account and watch the nature of things. To look for the metaphors, symbols, and signs in things. For example, if you notice that the water in the world is getting more and more polluted. Water symbolizes life (just look wherever there is water there is life) and life in an inner sense is getting gradually more and more and more polluted these days. With what? What do the pollutants symbolize? Well they are unnatural things created by human beings. So my bottom line on the sign would be: In this day and age life by and large is being polluted by unnatural things created by the human beings.
So in Muhammad's (pbuh) case it was given as an order from God to "read" or to do this type of reflecting. It develops and employs "intelligence". Some might call it a sort of street smarts or something else largely because these types of distillations don't fall into the empirical reasonings of science. "Sure you had this direct experience but let's see it on paper...can't? Well we just can't be sure then." Which is where my reflection on intelligence begins.
It seems that the meaning of intelligence split with the coming about of empirical reasoning. It brings about the question of "on paper" vs. the "reality of things". The old science vs. spirituality thing. A good example would be: On paper a human being only needs physical means to survive....
Woops got to tend to the baby....
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Post by Bill on Jun 6, 2006 23:17:58 GMT -5
God bless all.
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Post by Ben on Jun 10, 2006 21:34:39 GMT -5
Time to thread the needle Time to gather what you know Not a time to let it coast Not a time to lose attention Time to wonder Time to think Time to consider Time to decide Time to work Not a time to fill the "bellies" Not a time to run the mouth Not a time to let anger stand, let alone walk, let alone run Time to look at what is Time to exert the utmost Time to learn Not a time to hanker after useless things Time to consolidate Time to bottom line Not a time to do it tomorrow Not a time to wait for x,y, or z Time to love Time for peace Time for gentleness Time for straight sight Time for humility Time to resist temptations Not time to "lose it all in a night" Not time to listen to what takes you away from love Not a time to begin forgetting what benefits you Time to know yourself Time to "step in" Time to live Time for real strength Time to be subtle Time to watch everyday what happens around you Not time to ignore the signs Not time to foul up the waters Not a time to feed yourself poisons Not a time to ditch your real friends Time to get up and move Moving to love if you are not already there The rising of the tides of darkness come don't get caught and lose everything you have worked so hard for Time to face the fears, the saddness, the anger and put your foot down on them Everything other than or relating to love is a gateway Close them off Time for the roadblocks Time to tighten security on the paths of your spirit Establish a Visa for what you want to enter, and fingerprint everything that goes in You may have to chase it down when the bombs start going off Time to get away from the TV Time to reaquaint yourself with nature and it's languages understand them, and abide by them the human being has become both the most dangerous thing for this earth and the only thing that can be developed to benefit it the most Crack the sacred seals deep inside your heart and learn why God made the angels bow down to Adam Your spirit is a gatway so open it up and let it's waters destroy what is left of your desires There is no benefit in material things beyond what you really need "He who takes from this world more than he needs is hurting himself without even knowing it"
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